Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Is Marriage Worth It?

     So many couples are asking this question.  They didn't sign up for ugly conflict, financial stress, sexual problems, affairs or parenting nightmares.  While the marriage vows are spoken at the altar, most of us are just waiting for the kiss and the party.  We celebrate the kiss and the party because it's appropriate and necessary to honor life and love this way.  We quietly grieve because we are aware that disillusionment, hardship and fear will test the limits of their love.  They won't become gods.  They will never complete each other or fully give unconditional love to one another though they strive with all their might.  Their relationship will always demand more than what they can give.  They will be asked to adapt, to yield to each other, to soften their angry voices, to soothe, reassure.  They will be taken down paths that lead them far away from the dreams that once inspired them.  They will wrestle with God himself and get an ass-whooping instead of a blessing.  Is marriage worth it?  While I have my own opinion, I covet your comments.            

5 comments:

cHeRRyTeA! said...

for what its worth...to me, i wonder if a lot of the illusion comes from 1 cor. 13 where most of this love stuff all begins? when we are going down our checklist of what love is, i think we skip over vs 12 a little too hastily in order to get to that truly amazing ending - if we go back, and read it with this question & the definition of disillusionment in hand, which is "to free from illusion; also : to cause to lose naive faith and trust" -
1 cor. 13:12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
i'm a little more likely to see disillusionment as an awakening, that might actually be good for relationships, not suggesting that we lower the bar of committment, but possibly it would be worth it, rather than taking inventory, to reevaluate those naive expectations that keep us from honoring freely the good that we do do for eachother.

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